Creating Rituals - Two

At the end of the first 30 days of mourning (a period called Shloshim), it us customary for a mourner to hold a Siyyum (a concluding ceremony) complete with a text study in memory of their loved one, a meal and prayer service. This signifies the transition into the next phase of mourning.

I struggled again with how to handle this next phase of Jewish mourning ritual. My father wasn't engaged in on-going Jewish learning in a formal way, and therefore traditional text study was foreign to him. In addition to that, a prayer service in his memory would also not be a true honor of who he was. So I spent some time thinking about how to blend my need for "tradition" and my life commitment to being a Jewish educator/role model with his personality.

My father was a passionate ornithologist (bird watcher) and traveled all over the world watching birds and recording his sightings (check out his website at david.faintich.com). At one point, my father even "discovered" the 500th species of bird in Florida (the story is on the website). So one night while I was contemplating my ritual dilemma the "obvious" occurred to me. I needed to weave my father's love for birds and nature with my need to have this ceremony.

Whenever my father traveled, he looked for nature reserves and birding spots to visit. On one of his trips to Atlanta, he spent an hour at the Chattahoochee Nature Center. It's a gorgeous area on the banks of the Chattahoochee River just a few miles from my home. This seemed like an obvious location to honor my father's memory.

Lucky for me, my friend Amy Bram is the Director of Camp Kingfisher, which is the Nature Center's summer and school vacation camp. Luckier for me she is gracious, loving and compassionate. So when I asked her if there was a way I could utilize the Nature Center for a gathering, she not only agreed to make that happen, but also agreed to bring out some of the Birds of Prey for us to encounter.

So on Sunday, November 29, I held a Shloshim Siyyum in memory of my dad which was an integration of his love of all things birds (and animals in general) and my love for Jewish texts. Below are the texts I shared with my friends who gathered to help me honor him and transition into the next part of this journey. What I highlighted for them was his true love of animals and how he treated (& taught us to treat) the pets who have blessed our lives and the natural world around us.

In reflection on the day, I could almost imagine what another special party for my dad would look like .... a fantastic breakfast with bagels and lox, olives and pickles and sweets ... surrounded by friends, a gorgeous Fall day, an encounter with birds of prey, and a chance to walk hiking trails and take in nature. The only addition was a quick look at Jewish texts. The only thing missing .... was him.

Tzar Ba’alei Chayim – Ethical Treatment of Animals

Proverbs 12:10 A righteous man knows the soul of his animal.

Exodus 23:12 Six days you shall do your work, but on the seventh day you shall cease from labor, in order that your ox and your ass may rest and that your bondsman and the stranger may be refreshed.

Leviticus 22:28 Whether it is a bull, a sheep or a goat, do not slaughter [a female animal] and its child on the same day.

Deut. 22:10 Do not plow with an ox and donkey together.

Exodus 23:4-5 If you come across your enemy's ox or donkey going astray, bring it back to him. If you see the donkey of someone you hate lying under its load, you might want to refrain from helping him, but [instead] you must make every effort to help him [unload it].

Deut. 22:6-7 If you come across a bird’s nest on any tree or on the ground, and it contains baby birds or eggs, then, if the mother is sitting on the chicks or eggs, you must not take the mother along with her young. You must first chase away the mother, and only then may you take the young. [If you do this] you will have it good, and will live long.

Talmud, Berachot 40a; Mishneh Torah, Laws of Servitude 9:8 One is obligated to first feed his animals before one feeds oneself.

Jacob, Noah, Moses and King David were all shepherds, people who cared for animals and all biblical heroes. Judaism has always recognized the link between the ways a person treats animals and the ways a person treats human beings.

Humanity is given dominion over animals (Gen. 1:26), which gives us the right to use animals for legitimate needs. Animal flesh can be consumed for food (a post-Noah permission); animal skins can be used for clothing. However, dominion does not give us the right to cause indiscriminate pain and destruction. We are permitted to use animals in this way only when there is a genuine, legitimate need, and we must do so in the manner that causes the animal the least suffering. Kosher slaughtering is designed to be as fast and painless as possible, and if anything occurs that might cause pain (such as a nick in the slaughtering knife or a delay in the cutting), the flesh may not be consumed. Hunting for sport is strictly prohibited, and hunting and trapping for legitimate needs is permissible only when it is done in the least painful way possible. – Source: http://www.jewfaq.org/animals.htm

As with all animals, we are required to feed our pets before ourselves, and make arrangements for feeding our pets before we obtain them. Also, like all animals, household pets are entitled to Sabbath rest, thus you cannot have your dog retrieve the paper for you on Shabbat, etc

Birds in Jewish Text (sample)

Genesis 6:20 From each bird according to its kind, and from each animal according to its kind.

Genesis 8:7-8:12 He sent out the raven, and it departed. ….. He then sent out the dove …. The dove returned to him toward evening, and there was a freshly-plucked olive leaf in its beak.

Friends in attendance:

Joy Signer

Jennifer Finnel

Leah Fuhr

Joan Herschfeld

Julie Ancis

Debbie Denenberg

Rebecca Levin

Jaci Steinhart

Danielle Steinhart

Naomi and Michael Rabkin and family

Anthony Erdman

Karen Paz

Marc Goldman and Jeremy

Amy Bram

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